Why I Quit the Bachelor of Education: And What Comes Next

Hello again!

I wanted to make a post here to explain what happened with the Bachelor of Education I started in September 2020. I know that I don’t have to explain myself to anyone, and neither does anyone else who makes these kinds of decisions, but as a writer, it helps my mental health to put it into words and share it with someone else. So, I’ll start nearer to the beginning of this story and move towards the present moment.

            Right after high school, I went into my Bachelor of Arts and spent four and a half years completing that. I loved it. I’ve always enjoyed learning, and I was lucky to do a degree that was all about books and writing. My major was in English and my minor was in creative writing. I had no regrets about doing the degree, even though I went into it knowing that there aren’t many jobs you can get without getting more education.

            My plan, from about the age of 15, was to become a teacher. I think I was six or seven when I first wanted to teach. I had created a plan to do my arts degree and then move towards my education degree so I could be a teacher. This changed the summer that I officially graduated with my arts degree.

            In April 2020, I watched the video that served as our graduation ceremony. It was disappointing, but I knew that the important part was that I had received my degree in the mail and had accomplished it. I believe I had received my acceptance letter by this point or shortly after, so I knew that I would start my Bachelor of Education in September 2020.

            But that summer before I started was one of the best periods of my life. My mental health was much improved because they had laid me off from my stressful and mostly pointless job (it paid so little that it was costing us money to get me there for all the shifts. It was very silly) and I was falling into the rhythm of helping my partner by taking over chores and other things while he worked.

            I had a few moments of dread before September, but I chalked it up to nervousness about doing online classes, which I had never done before. So, I started the BEd and tried my best to do my best.

            By the time the first class was over at the end of September, I was dreading every class. We began having in-person classes a couple of times a week, and it became very clear to me that this wasn’t what I wanted. As we began planning our first lessons, I realized how much this wasn’t me. I didn’t want this at all. I had begun having doubts about doing my Arts degree at this time too. Suddenly I was regretting the degree I had loved so much. That was another sign that things weren’t right.

            I spoke to one instructor, who pointed me towards an advisor who helped me to withdraw from classes. In the weekend that separated talking to these two people, I did a lot of thinking about who I am and what I want out of life. I knew that being a teacher would push me farther and farther away from the time which I get to have my family. It would keep me away from my family even after that. Apart from that, my anxiety is nowhere near where it would need to be to teach well. The longer I thought about it, the more reasons I came up with for leaving the program.

            After I quit the program, I had a very strange time. For the first time in my life, I had no plan. Nothing to prepare for in the future. It was freeing. But it also felt like I needed to do something. I knew that it was the right move because the regret I felt about my Arts degree went away, but I began feeling guilty for quitting.

            I did a few things to battle this guilt because I knew that I had made the best decision I could for myself. First, I promised myself that I wouldn’t just take part in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), I would win it by writing 50,000 words in a novel. Next, I would dedicate myself to this blog more over the next few months. Lastly, I promised myself that I would read more, both by the end of 2020 and then even more in 2021.

            I wrote 48,163 words in my novel entitled A Feminist Wizard’s Guide to Gardening. I’m so very proud of the fact that I made it that far. This blog is also doing better because I’m writing on a schedule and getting posts out on time. And I have read so many books since I withdrew on Oct. 21st.

            So, now I’m going to talk about what’s next. I’m going to continue writing this blog, writing my novel, and reading as much as I can. I have also completely moved back to being a homemaker while my partner works. Some people think that this is an outdated thing to do, but I know that I have never been happier than now. I can’t speak for him, but I know that he is thankful for what I do. It works for us.

            I don’t want to come across as one of the classic new year’s resolution people with an exercise resolution, so I’ll word the next bit in a way that fits me better. I want to feel better. Writing isn’t a very active job, so I bought a Fitbit. I’m going to use it to get myself feeling better and be more in shape. My favourite feature after having it for 24 hours is that it reminds me to get up and move around every hour. To support my mental health, I’m not stating this as my goal for 2021.

            In conclusion, I want to do things for myself. Everything that I do every day is to support my mental health and further my skills in writing and analysis. I am so happy to be doing all these things and to support my partner.

            I know that not everyone is going to be interested in a post like this, but I’m thankful for the people who have read this far. Thank you. There will be another book review out on Tuesday for those of you who are here for that kind of content.

            See you Tuesday! And check out my Instagram in the meantime if you would enjoy reading updates or maybe some hints about what the next book review will be.